TURN S01E01 REVIEW

Inspired by the news of a decent (read: not disastrous) viewers' number for Turn on an extremely competitive night (one would think that planning a premiere on the same day when Game of Thrones returns is suicidal), I have finally overcome my prejudice against the men in powdered wigs and white pantyhose, and watched the pilot. Well, not that I regret it per se... let's just say there was no pleasant surprise: the show seemed to be exactly what I imagined it to be after having read the synopsis.

Turn takes us back to the 18th century, the time of the American Revolutionary War; we take a closer look at the life of a farmer, Abe Woodhull, who, like nobody, fits the profile of a lesser man. Lying low, he's growing cabbage, a good part of which ends up infested with worms, so he is not even good at it. Watching the "redcoats" commit all sorts of indiscretions, he keeps being loyal to the crown, like his father - a very influential man, as it turns out. He's married and has a son.

"The normal" life he's trying to maintain is ruined, when he gets into a fight with the British at his ex-sweetheart's tavern. The fight leads to a chain of events which results in Abe becoming a spy for the Continental Army. 

I've read that some people say they like that it's not all black and white, but it is. Sure, Americans use waterboarding to obtain intelligence (nice to know their techniques have not changed since 1776) and kill the enemy in a very cruel manner, but there is not a single moment during the episode, when we would hesitate to say who the real bad guys are. 

Abe is the only character that's got any edge; all others are merely the decorations. I see Turn as a story about a man trying to find the true self and finally get rid of his father's beliefs, he's always thought of as his own. And just like we know the outcome of the Revolutionary War, we know the ending of this story, don't we?

P.S. The intro is awesome, but I can't help feeling it's not right for this series.

SILICON VALLEY S01E01 REVIEW

Silicon Valley premiered last night on HBO, so I'll write a couple of words about it.

Synopsis:

Richard lives in a Silicon Valley incubator with four other geeks and works for a global tech company Hooli; his own project develops very slowly, until two billionaires, Peter Gregory, who hates college education (I'm with him on that, by the way), and the founder of Hooli, Gavin Belson, find out about the algorithm he wrote that allows to compress files without any data loss. Naturally, they want in, and Richard must decide, which offer he would accept.

In may ways, it's like Better Off Ted meets The It Crowd, only without the awkward romantic relationships (well, at least for now, I definitely sensed the potential love story between the lead and the college-hater assistant) and any normal people. The series portrays the ridiculousness of the tech world, populated with the suddenly rich social freaks, who can't think of spending cash on anything better than a performance by Kid Rock (!) at their party. 

The tech world is divided. On the one side there are billionaires driving exceptionally narrow cars and talking to the spiritual advisers. On the other side - the nobodies, the guys who have gotten the shit kicked out of throughout all their lives, the guys who do not want to change the world, or even get rich, for that matter; they just want to make it happen, without fully realizing what it is.

The acting is exceptional and is essential to the show. Most of the jokes are funny just because of the tone and the facial expressions. And of course, the creators couldn't not introduce the typical American comedy character - the insensitive doctor. Only here, on top of delivering the usual anatomical jokes, the doctor is pitching his patients with his app idea.

The episode ends with Richard's speech about how he doesn't want his company to turn into any other "corporate cult", and that was probably the funniest part of the show. We've seen it all before; the most dramatic example is, of course, Google; the company, famous for fighting "the evil" (i.e. Microsoft), has turned into... well, whatever it is now.

So, whether you love or loathe the tech world, this show is definitely worth checking out.

NEW TV SERIES IN APRIL

Tonight, on the 6th of April, we've got two new shows on HBO and AMC.

Silicon Valley is a new HBO comedy, created by Mike Judge. He actually used to work for a video card start up company in the past, and as far as I understand, he did not really enjoy it. This makes it interesting, 'cause if you’re not an IT enthusiast, it should be easier for you to look critically at the environment and make fun of it.

The first teaser was rather disappointing, but the second one and the sneak peeks look very promising. The series is rather short, only 8 episodes, so It’s better be good.

Turn airs tonight on AMC (a.k.a. the Breaking Bad channel). This series is based on a book named Washington Spies. It is a period drama set in the 18^th century during American Revolutionary War. The creators promise all the spy movie fun with guns and chases etc. Quite honestly, it seems like there is a little too much testosterone in this show for me to enjoy it.

On the 15^th of april FX releases Fargo with the Coens as executive producers. This is an anthology, so expect a different story every season. The first one is based on a 1996 film with the same name that  has altogether earned seven Oscars. There already was an attempt to create a spin-off, Kathy Bates even directed the pilot back in 1997, but that wasn't meant to be. The new version involves brilliant martin freeman (he’s everywhere now) and Billie Bob Thornton as the leads.

FX has already revealed the first 7 minutes of the pilot, and it looks great. Dark, funny, with exceptional acting – I have a feeling it will be the best new mini series of the year. So yeah, I’m looking forward to all the ten episodes.

Another period drama slash supernatural witch show called Salem is coming out on the 20^th of April on WGN. It is created by Brannon Braga, who has been previously working on Terra Nova, and Start Track franchise, and Adam Simon, the guy who wrote for a number of horror movies, including a trashy one named Bones, with Snoop Dogg (which earned less than half of its budget).

The show is set in the 17^th century, and the witches are real and running the witch trials. How about that?

For the teenagers and those that are young at heart, MTV has created a new show called Faking It, which will air on the 22^nd of April. It’s about two girls that pretend to be a lesbian couple just to fit and become popular in High School. Enough said.

  

A new mini series named Black Box is set to debut on the 24^th of April. The show is about Catherine Black, who is a secretly  bipolar neuroscientist. So, in essence, it’s like if instead of a leg/Vicodin problem Gregory House had the mental stability of Carrie from Homeland.  I doubt it’d be any good.



CBS took a movie Bad Teacher and turned it into a series, which will premiere on the 24^th of April. Frankly, I haven’t fully recovered from the loss of the money I paid to see the movie, so I have mixed feelings about it. The only thing that I can mark as interesting in the show’s trailers, is that Juanita from Desperate Housewives still looks as a kid.

Finally, on the 29^th of April, USA Network releases a new comedy about the female friendship called Playing House. The show is based on the real life friendship between Lennon Parham andJessica St. Clair and they also play the leading parts.

AHS: COVEN - THE SEVEN WONDERS

The witches have the last supper the night before they attempt to perform the Seven Wonders to figure out who the next Supreme is. Delia tells them to kick ass, she doesn't take part in the trials, 'cause she knows, she's not the one.

All four - Misty, Queenie, Zoe and Madison - pass the first test successfully, they use telekinesis to move candles. Then, the mind control test, where the girls cause each other a little harm, and Madison nearly makes Kyle strangle Zoe, but gets interrupted by Delia. Misty is the first one to get eliminated, as she fails the next task - unlike the other girls, she cannot return from her personal hell, where she has to dissect and resurrect the frog on repeat.

The three continue with the Wonders and play teleportation-tag outside the academy. The game gets Zoe killed - she teleports to the top of the gate, and the spikes pierce her body. Queenie fails to bring her back to life (how come she could do this to Misty last week?), so she's out. Madison refuses to perform the task on Zoe, she kills a fly instead and resurrects it. Like her predecessor, the supposed new Supreme cannot care less about the morals or the coven itself, so Cordelia mourns the end of witches.

But Myrtle has an epiphany - how could she not see this before? Delia has royal blood in her veins, she must be the next Supreme, not Madison! So Cordelia performs all the Wonders, including Divination - the one Madison fails. The starlet rushes to her room to pack and leave for Hollywood, threatening to tell TMZ all about the crazy w(b)itches, but she's followed by Kyle, and like Frankenstein, she dies from the hands of her own creation. Spalding appears to help Kyle get rid of her body. The perv probably takes her back to his attic. (What's up with the baby?!!)

Zoe is resurrected, and for some reason, she does not continue with the test, I guess, you die - you lose. Delia regains her sight and glowing health and gives an interview on TV, urging the young witches to come out and embrace their witchy selves, seek acceptance within the walls of Miss Robichaux's.

To spare her from unnecessary Watergate scandal, Myrtle convinces Cordelia to burn her at the stake for killing her fellow Council members. The last word she says on the show is Balenciaga!!!

Delia asks Zoe and Queenie to be her Council, and of course they agree. Suddenly, the new Supreme hears the voice of the old one. She finds Fiona, looking horrible, who's never been killed or fed to alligators as it turns out. She's just put the memory of murdering her inside Axeman's head to deceive Delia, with intentions to kill the next Supreme once the Seven Wonders test reveals who she is. She dies in her daughter's hands, hugging her for the first time in her life. Then Fiona wakes up in her hell: in the country house with the Axeman. In the beginning of the season, Fiona hears another chemo patient asking God to take her after her daughter's wedding, but she misses this sign and instead of trying to connect with Cordelia, she wishes for a man to belong to. Now, in hell, she's asking for her daughter, but it's too late.

Delia and her Council open the doors of the academy and the young witches flood the building. The coven is safe, the witches thrive.

Like other seasons of AHS, Coven is full of metaphors.Yes, it portrays the world of women, where men are nothing but a threat, a weakness, a punishment or an unnecessary (unwanted) help, but for me it's not what it's about.

It's about looking closely at what you believe you are and questioning this belief, like Delia; it's about taking your second chance to become a better version of yourself or wasting it, like Madison or Delphine; about being able to look beyond the misery you're in or be consumed by it, like Misty; about taking the responsibility for your actions, like Myrtle; about being able to realize that the family you want is not the family you have, and let the pain of bitter disappointment go.

The attempt to show all of this with the help of Urban Dictionary and high fashion is interesting, but not entirely successful. I just wish they'd put a little more effort to it.

AHS: COVEN - GO TO HELL

This week a bunch of characters finally got what they deserved, so even the excessively long "silent film" intro could not ruin the episode.

Queenie wants to know what happened to Marie, so she goes to hell, which takes a form of a fast food restaurant for her, to speak to Papa Legba. He tells her that Delphine cut Marie into many pieces and spread them around New Orleans. Queenie asks Papa to make Laveau mortal again, as she's clearly in the breach of contract now that she can't physically fulfill Papa's requests, and he agrees.

Delphine takes a tour around her former house and is displeased to find that some details of her life are slightly exaggerated. She lures the tour guide to the attic, calls bullshit on her, knocks her out and takes her place, where Queenie finds her. The black witch gives LaLarie a chance to repent and make amends, but the sadist is not sorry for what she's done and even dares to give a speech about the hypocrisy of modern world. A serial killer judging Antony Weiner (DANGER!) and Paula Deen - what could be funnier? As she finishes with some racial statement, Queenie puts a knife in her chest and sends her to hell - LaLaurie's attic, where she must watch how her daughter is tortured by Laveau, who, by the way, is sentenced to harm an innocent for eternity.

Delia regains her inner sight and sees that Fiona intends to kill all the witches, including Delia herself. She pays a visit to the Axeman and tells him that her mother, being a heartless bitch she is, will definitely ditch him (she should know). He later finds Fiona's plane ticket and confronts her. She admits she doesn't love him and has never planned to stay with him forever, so he kills her with his axe and feeds her body to alligators, and we never get to learn what happened to the cat she used to have when she was a kid.

Zoe and Kyle return to the academy, as Zoe resurrects some rude guy after her boyfriend kills him, and thinks she's the next Supreme. Misty, released by Queenie and Cordelia from the tomb comes back as well and beats the shit out of Madison. The spectacular fight is interrupted by the Axeman, who is stupid enough to think he could kill all the witches on his own. Delia sees what he's done to her mom, and he dies exactly like he did the first time - stabbed many-many times.

Now that the old Supreme is gone, the girls must attempt to perform the seven wonders to establish who takes the throne.

AHS: COVEN - PROTECT THE COVEN

Once again the series dive into origins of monstrosity: a great deal of the latest episode is dedicated to LaLaurie and her path to her somewhat eccentric hobby. In short, she's enjoyed dismembering living things since childhood, and when she moved to the US, it was time to level up.

The witches gather to bury Nan, who, according to Fiona, fell in the tub, and this is when Queenie and LaLaurie (head and body back together) choose to appear. Queenie's survived Hank's attack, despite having been shot with an enchanted bullet, and fixed her racist friend. Both of them are welcomed back to the academy, where Queenie cleans her room from Misty's hippie things and yells at Delia, calling her weak, and Delphine enjoys some practical jokes, like feeding the coven with Madison's shit, and tortures a wounded black gardener next to Spalding's doll collection. As she's about to finish, Spalding's spirit appears and promises her assistance in killing Laveau, if she buys a super expensive doll for him. So she does, and gets a pack of Benadril and instructions to put the pills into Marie's drink.

Zoe's discovers that Fiona and Marie drowned Nan, but she's distracted by Madison, who acts out after Kyle rejects her, promises to take him back to pieces and tries to harm Zoe. The act is interrupted by Myrtle, who later gives some jewelry to Zoe and tells her to take the boy and run. Kyle cries and hesitates, but eventually agrees, so they manage to get on a bus.

Fiona, Marie and the Axeman meet with the witch hunters and kill them all. When they return, Delphine makes sure Laveau drinks the magic pills and hits her with the knife, Dexter style. Unfortunately, that does not work, but Spalding knocks the voodoo witch out and lets Delphine decide what to do with her. Turns out he helped LaLaurie, because he wanted to get a hold of the living doll - the baby that was meant for Papa Legba.

Oh, and Delia stabbed her eyes out, one by one? to regain her inner sight.

They say next season will be a period 1950s drama.

AHS: COVEN - THE MAGICAL DELIGHTS OF STEVIE NICKS

It's time to admit that season 3 has been nothing but a bitter disappointment, and there's no hope for improvement. Besides, I suspect Murphy is too occupied with The Normal Heart for HBO to pay enough attention to the series he's seemingly already bored with.

This week we (and Fiona) finally learn Marie's secret: she sold her soul to a French speaking and cocaine sniffing Rob Zombie look-alike - Papa Legba in exchange for everlasting life. On top of her soul she promised him a favour every year, which she thought was nothing more than friendship with benefits, but he had no interest in sex (figures). The first year he's asked for Marie's own newborn, further on she had to look for somebody else's babies. Every time she feels like the baby's hers, so the price is not that low.

Inspired by the story, Fiona tries to cut a deal with Papa, sadly, turns out she has no soul to trade. So she decides to kill every young witch in the coven, 'cause it's impossible to say who the Supreme-to-be is: they all seem growing stronger. Well, except for poor Cordelia.

Not only she seems to have lost all her magic powers, but is devastated by Marie's confession of hiring Hank, who she (Delia) learns was a professional witch hunter. Fiona, like most mothers in her position, puts the blame on her daughter and even slaps her. She refuses to accept Delia's help when performing a ritual to take the Corporation's money and basically implies her daughter is a complete failure. Auntie Myrtle confirms her words by suggesting Delia to become a cruise hostess or start a small salad dressing production line. I now believe Cordelia is the next Supreme.

The series characters though still bet on Misty, Fiona even arranges a private Stevie Nicks concert for her (I'm not a fan, so...). All of this upsets Madison-The-Attention-Whore, so to pay back for her own resurrection she has Misty buried alive.

Nan also uses her newly discovered mind control gift for evil: she forces Luke's mom to drink a bottle of bleach as an act of retribution for what she's done to her son. Well, as Fiona says later in the show, the bitch had it coming.

Unfortunately, the new power was insufficient to protect her from Marie and Fiona, who decided to give her soul to Papa instead of an infant Marie stole from the hospital. Though Nan was not that innocent after the murder she's committed, Papa settled for her soul and took it some place dark, supposedly, hell.

I guess now it comes to how all/the majority of characters die. too bad I don't feel a thing when it happens.

AHS: COVEN - THE HEAD

In this week's episode Queenie pays for her betrayal, Delia and Kyle have their natural human abilities restored and the witch-hunting corporation is introduced.

It begins with another flashback, this time to Hank's miserable childhood. His father took him for his (Hank's) first witch hunt, and like in any other movie about kids trying to shoot their first animal, Hank cannot go through with it. In the end, father shoots the witch, but gets his hand burnt by some magic fire. (Was it the reason Hank could not resist shooting the red-head? Unfinished Gestalt and all.)

Back to the modern day, Hank visits his dad, who's now the CEO of a witch-hunting corporation. This season fathers don't seem to treat their children better than mothers, so instead of approval for the taken initiative, Hank is getting yelled at. Why would he go to Marie? Why would he kill that witch in a motel room he paid for with his own Credit Card? His job was to stay with Delia (whom the corporation people blinded to make her depend on her husband) and spy.

Fiona and LaLaurie's talking head pay another visit to Marie (oh, I loved how they shot Delphine's headless body shooing flies) and miss Goode tries to convince the voodoo witch to join the clans to fight the hunters. Marie thinks she's the one who organized the attack, so she refuses. Fiona leaves, Queenie is told to burn Delphine's head, but instead she places it in her room and makes her watch Roots.

Myrtle finds a way to return sight to Cordelia. She invites her former Council colleagues, feeds them with something causing paralysis, scoops one eye from each with the melon baller and gives those eyes to Delia. Unfortunately, this causes Delia to lose her magic visions, so when Hank hugs her in his attempt to come back home, she doesn't know he's a hunter. She kicks him out anyway.

Joan sits by his son's bed, but after she learns through Nan that he knows she killed her husband (God told Luke she put some bees into his father's car and he died from anaphylactic shock), she murders him with a pillow.

The young witches return home and see Fiona playing cards with Kyle (and he's winning!). He also seems to be able to talk normally. Fiona found him and decided to turn him into a guard dog.

Marie practices some voodoo magic on Hank to force him attack the Robichaux, instead he comes to her hair salon and shoots everyone. Wounded Queenie proves Fiona's statement earlier in the show that the female is aggressive and loyal. She protects Marie by blowing her own brains out and because she's a living voodoo doll, this kills Hank. His father's mourning the loss in his fancy office.

It ends with Marie at the doors of the academy, clearly wanting to accept Fiona's offer to join their forces.

To be honest, this seemed like a weak episode to me, especially considering it's a winter cliffhanger. The shooting scene was the strongest part, Oh, Freedom made it quite emotional. Myrtle's lines were pretty cool and Delphine's situation was a little funny, but other than that... The flashback sucked, the corporation stuff SUCKED, all the scenes in the hospital were boring. And Kyle killed the dog! Somehow I'm fine watching him bashing his mother's head, but I started hating him when he crashed the dog :(

AHS: COVEN - THE SACRED TAKING

In this week's episode Queenie gets more involved with Voodoo magic, Delia tries to push Fiona to the grave, and Nan is rescued from a silver bullet.

Shockingly, it doesn't open with a flashback as usual. Somewhere under the bridge Queenie kills a homeless rapist and rips his beating "dark heart" out in front of Zoe and Madison, who came to call her back to the coven. She refuses to leave Marie and tells the witches they'll lose the war to Voodoo clan. Well, game on!

Cordelia, admirably bitchy (and looking fantastic with the cane), declares that Queenie's dead to her and starts planning her mother's orchestrated suicide (Orestes and Clytemnestra story echoes throughout this season a lot). She's interrupted by Misty and Myrtle, who managed to survive Hank's attack and now seek protection. Myrtle thinks Misty is the new Supreme, 'cause she's brought more people back than Jesus Christ. Other young witches seem quite hurt by this assumption, but they still secretly hope she's wrong.

The witches hold a Sacred Taking ritual, which was the easy part. Now they have to convince the selfish bitch (who's still planning to kill the next Supreme once she establishes who that is) to take some extra sleeping pills this night. Madison appears in her room in the red dress and announces that she, the new Supreme, resurrected herself, so now Fiona has two options: to be burnt on a stake or leave fashionably, like Norma Jean. Then Myrtle pushes the dying witch even further, by convincing her the Axeman won't stay with her till the end, so Fiona puts on some makeup and a fur coat, lies down and takes the pills. 

But as Myrtle leaves, the dead Spalding appears and reveals Delia's cunning plan details. Madison is not the Supreme, they think it's a swamp witch. Now let's cleanse you from those pills and plan your vengeance!

Talking about cleansing, Luke had to undergo a process of purification, carefully carried out by his mom (take off your pants!). She locks him in the closet, but Nan finds him and they attempt to run away like boyfriend and girlfriend. Joan stops them at the door, but before she could do anything creepy, Hank puts a couple of bullets into her chest. Luke saves Nan from the third shot and gets hit, she goes with him to the hospital.

Fiona disappoints everyone by not dying and takes great interest in Misty. She dares the swamp witch to use her gift of resurgence on Joan, and so she does. Delia finds the silver bullet on the pavement and figures there's a witch hunter out there. Zoe is very stressed by this news but finds comfort with Kyle, who tells her he loves her. Oh, and she loves him back! Madison overhears this and seems clearly jealous and upset.

Next morning Delia and her mother have a coffee together, and Fiona sort of openly admires her daughter for what she did. Cordelia says she's glad her plan did not work out, 'cause now the coven needs Fiona more than ever. Their conversation is interrupted by the delivery of Delphine's talking head. Tam-tam-tam!!! 

As always, so many things happened, yet the story has not really progressed that much. There are only five episodes left and I hope it all makes sense in the end. 

AHS: COVEN - THE DEAD

In this week's episode Kyle regains limited cognitive functions, Fiona dives into her love affair with the ghost-murderer and Queenie betrays the coven.

It starts with a flashback to Kyle's recent past, and we hear how he explains to his frat brothers why he wouldn't get any tattoos. Apparently, he wanted to become an engineer (bla-bla, Katrina, bla-bla, tattoos ruin image) and planned not to waste his life. Wanna make God laugh, huh. Now the improved version of Kyle checks "his" limbs and sees the stupid pictures his mates put on themselves that day and begins to comprehend something. Then Zoe comes in, planning to put him back to sleep, and sees his suffering. He takes her gun, but as he tries to blow his brains out, she stops him: she's still not ready to let him go. Instead, she tries to teach him how to speak.

Madison wonders around the house and tries to feel something, so she drinks, takes pills, burns her palms and eats like a pig. Since she consumed all the food, Queenie and LaLaurie go out for some burgers (for a person who lives with witches, Delphine seems too shocked by the drive-in mic box is talking to her). During this meal, LaLaurie tells Queenie that other witches will never fully accept her 'cause she's black.

Cordelia discovers Madison and as she touches her, she sees who slit the girl's throat. She then tells Zoe that she could be Fiona's next victim, so they have to kill her first (..."kill her once, kill her good, kill her dead").

Madison seduces Kyle (you're dead, I'm dead, let's waist no time), and Zoe walks in on them, of course. Later all of them have a threesome.

The Axeman invites Fiona to the house of some unfortunate fellow he murdered and hid in the bath tub. She spends a night with him and then tells him she knows about the body. He replies he knows everything about her, 'cause he watched her grow (old). She doesn't believe in ghosts but he shares some details. She runs away, upset, but then comes back to him.

Queenie visits Laveau, where she's offered to join the voodoo clan if she brings LaLaurie. Queenie asks Delphine about the worst thing she's ever done. Madame racist confesses she once turned her husbands and her black maid's bastard baby into a skin serum, so Queenie takes her to Marie's hair salon.

Zoe reunites Spalding with his enchanted tongue and asks who murdered Madison. "FFFFFFFFFFFFiona", he says and she kills him.

Hank's drinking in a motel room, surrounded by guns. He surely misses his wife and plans to pay a visit.